[NSFW] SexyMandarin.com fuses soft porn with Chinese language classes

Mandarin is notoriously hard to learn, especially for Westerners who often get tripped up on Chinese intonation. It’s a real problem, since varying tones of a same-sounding word can actually have different meanings.

But if there’s anything close to a global lingua franca — and I mean among straight guys — it’s hot women. It turns out that one such siren, 26-year-old Japanese model Kaoru Kikuchi, has combined the world of language learning and soft porn to create a product that is weird, offensive, and wonderful — all at the same time.

I’m talking of course about SexyMandarin.com. Here’s how it works: Users pay a monthly fee to watch videos of girls frolicking in bed or doing other silly things. Footages of lingerie models speaking in Mandarin will be interspersed by sequences where an animated, pervy looking teacher will explain the phrases used. Think softcore lesbian porn with Mandarin lessons in place of non-existent plots.

The Hong Kong based company has five different pricing plans to choose from (too complicated in my view), and the higher tier plans gives you live one-to-one lessons with a babe of your choice. All you need is a webcam and a microphone. The most expensive option even throws in a Poker game for good measure.

Disappointingly, the models teaching one-on-one lessons aren’t dressed in lingerie, but nonetheless the website has promised that the girls “are still dressed very sexy”. The girls are mostly from Taiwan while the videos were apparently shot in Cebu, Philippines.

It’s not surprising that SexyMandarin has attracted a lot of brickbats, mostly from feminists who complain that the site demeans and objectifies women, and so on. Pretty much the same criticisms leveled at the porn industry.

But who knows, maybe the company will feature male models, dubbed SexyMan, in the near future. It has actually received such requests from women.

So is this website ingenious or tacky? Frankly, I thought their promo video (above), which has attracted over 700,000 views, was a blast to watch. It’s like a B-movie. Lots of sex and hammy dialogue,  but still thoroughly entertaining. I suspect the producers know this, but don’t take themselves too seriously anyway.

There could be more to this business than meets the eye. Sex has been used to lure unsuspecting male customers in many other industries — it’s surprising that no one has thought of doing the same in the online education space on such a scale.

SexyMandarin could even venture into other languages — Kaoru herself appears in a video called SpicyJapanese.

I’m not sure if the website is an effective language teaching tool. As one critic said, perhaps it is merely a marketing gimmick.

Whatever the case is, I suspect many of the site’s visitors don’t really care.

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