The Entrepreneur’s Bookshelf: Just Listen by Mark Goulston

Through a very interesting episode in Jason Calacanis‘ “This Week in Startups” (a videocast featuring about the trials and tribulations of startup founders), I discover an interesting book “Just Listen” written by Mark Goulston. Unlike all other episodes which talk so much about the stories of start-ups, the interview with Mark Goulston discusses the issues that all challenging situations and stress conditions which happen around a business environment. Particularly in startups, which it is likely that very few entrepreneurs will talk about is the management of human relations. The basic theme for “Just Listen” is to focus on how we can get through to anyone, even when productive communication seems impossible. So, we review the book and tell you why you should read it.

Managing human relations within a company is not an easy task, particularly in a startup. People comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and not to mention that there is always a colleague who’s hostile and arrogant, a client who’s furious or too picky, a staff who is cynical and don’t get things done. In dealing with these rough and tough situations, what are the possible strategies that one can use to engage people back into productive communication? That’s what Mark Goulston’s book is about. In Mark’s own words, “People have have their own needs, desires and agendas … To cope, they throw up barricades that make it difficult to reach when your goals are in sync with their own.” While reading the book, Goulston threw very common situations that one will either face working in a startup with other founders, or talking to an investor or handling difficult people.

In the book, Goulston presented his own treatise in productive communication in four parts. The first part puts into perspective how the persuasion cycle works and throws a little science on how rational thought can be overtaken by an amygdala hijack (coined by Daniel Goldman, the author of Emotional Intelligence) i.e the rational part of the brain for the individual has lost control and it is impossible for you to talk facts or reason. Also, the author presented a simple story to show that getting through to somebody is not a difficult endeavour. From the start of the book, he brought out his point through a simple hostage situation and explains how the persuasion cycle works in the folllowing order: (i) from resisting to listening, (ii) from listening to considering, (iii) from considering to willing to do, (iv) from willing to do to doing and finally (v) from doing to glad they did and continuing to do.

Once the big picture is set, Goulston followed with his nine basic rules and twelve quick techniques (that make up the 2nd and 3rd part of the book) that one can apply to handle people across different points within the persuasion cycle. Of the nine, there are two rules which might be of interest to founders and employees in any startup.

The rule “Make People Feel Valuable” focuses on the insight that everyone competes for time but no one should need to compete for importance and offers the action point for the user to identify a person at work who constantly creates problems where none exist. In fact, the author recommends the following solution that the next time when the same person complains to you, just say, “What you’re saying to me is so important that I’d like you to take responsibility for coming up with a solution. When you have some ideas, call me, and we’ll get together and go over your solutions. I really appreciate your help.” .

Another interesting rule is “Check your dissonance at the door” where people might slide into unnecessary arguments abouut something in the workplace, particularly when the employee and boss are in conflict over how to solve a problem. In the book, Goulston prescribed a solution to the reader in how to defuse the solution by offering a useful insight from Warren Bennis, “When you really get where people are coming from – and they get that you get them – they’re more likely to let you take them where you want them to go.”

Finally, at the end of the book, Goulston provided seven fast fixes for seven situations which most people encounter in business. Of the two situations, it will be good for the reader to look at. One of the situations called “The Team from Hell” is a situation when a project manager is put in charge with a team with four different types of personalities: one who is really smart and you can count on, one who wants to do the least amount of work possible, one who spends all the time complaining about everyone and finally one, who wanted your assignment and is more experienced than you. The author tries to dissect the four personalities and the rules of engagement for each one of them. In fact, one of the main strategies is identify the “silos” they put up towards you.

All in all, the book is an easy read and can serve as a guide from time to time, particularly for those who are in leadership positions or even working under someone whom they deemed as “unreasonable” or “horrible”. From a personal point of view, I find it a good read that can help me to reflect about different situations I am being placed under.

Related Videos & Links:
[1] Jason Calacanis interviewing Mark Goulston in This Week in Startups #TWiST episode 21

[2] Mark Goulston’s blog, where you can read some of the questions and thoughts posed by the author on human relations in the office place.

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